So I over-reacted a little to the news that the San Diego Comic Con got to see a 50th Anniversary Trailer before we in the UK go to see it. I tweeted an instantaneous reaction - ah, the foolishness of a social media spasm. It was a bit silly.
But then I saw a tweet - not aimed at me but aimed at the over-reaction in general - that said "Get some perspective." Which pissed me off.
So I started thinking about my 'perspective' on Doctor Who. And I wanted to explain. Because I think being a UK based Doctor Who fan in 80s had a weird effect on me. Now I don't know if other fans who grew up in that period had the same issues. I don't want to suggest my experience was a common one. But it is mine.
I said - half-jokingly - that I had become like one of those irritating people who followed a small, unknown band around the country from tiny venue to tiny venue who then has to deal with the realisation that other people like the band. So many people that they're now playing stadiums, not pubs. And that I'm not dealing with it very well.
But that's not fair to me.
The problem is I spent a huge chunk of my early years as a Doctor Who fan almost permanently on the defensive. Fending of accusations of being a weirdo, because then the geeks weren't everywhere just somewhere. Fending off terrible jokes about crap special effects, bad acting, silly stories. Watching the BBC kill its own creation out of what looked like spite. I spent a lot of that time telling people they were wrong & extolling the virtues of the programme. I defended Doctor Who in the face of every accusation - some of which fans themselves still make.
I kept Doctor Who on my list of interests on my CV even after I was told to take it of because prospective employers would think I was a weirdo. Every new job, every new friend - with the occasional miraculous fan exception - would see the same conversations & I honed my "Why Doctor Who is Brilliant" speech to such a fine degree it was almost a sales pitch.
Even my parents thought Doctor Who was a phase I was going through.
And through the hiatus I kept the faith. I bought - and loved - the Virgin New Adventures (ah, & didn't that Virgin word lead to some hilarious office jokes). I tried to get everyone I knew to watch the McGann TV Movie. I bought videos. All of them. I had faith.
So when finally Doctor Who came back & it was brilliant & popular & friends kids started to ask me questions - or challenge me to quizzes about it - it was something of a personal vindication.
That's my perspective. It's why I - irrationally & unfairly - react to Doctor Who things that I feel ignore me [Vanity, Vanity All Is Vanity] I get a little Cross.
It's why I think that whilst launching the trailer at Comic Con is understandable someone in the BBC should think let's make sure this goes out in the UK too as soon as possible because otherwise there will be a rubbish phone copy up on YouTube & also its a nice thing to do & perhaps even the right thing to do.
As I end this blog I'm aware that like Nick Hornby & Arsenal perhaps Doctor Who has come to mean too much to me. And perhaps it has.