The Armageddon Factor

Alas, the disappointment that was The Power of Kroll is followed by an equally disappointing and overlong finale. The Armageddon Factor is pretty poor.

It drags. O heaven's it drags. Those interminable scenes between K9 and Mentalis; the endless circling of corridors; Merak and Astra who are the pathetic and cow-eyed lovers of the story and the Shadow's repeated villainous laughter. And there's a convenient time loop that allows us to watch the same scenes over and over again even after we've got the point so as to fill up precious time. It's like watching paint dry on a damp day.

I know all of that sounds harsh but the Key to Time started off so well but ended with a disappointing whimper. A season-long story arc - something we are now more than familiar with in New Who - that was simply an excuse to link a loose series of adventures and which is then thrown away at the end.

Twenty-six episodes spent gathering the Key to Time together in order to save the Universe by command of the White Guardian and the Doctor just breaks it all up when he realizes that he's talking to the Black Guardian.

The Black Guardian hasn't even taken charge of events himself. He's left The Shadow to deal with things and as often is the case when subordinates take charge in Doctor Who this turns out to be a bad idea. The Black Guardian claims he has been expecting this all along. In which case why the hell drag us through all of that. Why not just wait until the Doctor's collected all the bits and then pull the Guardian swap? It's almost Master-ish in its ineptitude.

The Shadow is such a total idiot that his method of mind control requires sticking a large obvious thing on someone's neck in a place where it can be seen. No cunning hypnosis, no circuits hidden behind ears...oh no. It must be a licorice allsort stuck on the neck.

The White Guardian - perhaps lulled into a coma by the sheer tediousness of the last six-episode - can't even be bothered to turn up for a curtain call.

There are some good bits: the final segment being a person, not an inanimate object; the insane military mindedness of the Marshall, which John Woodvine plays like a Shakespearean villain having a nervous breakdown; Drax (Barry Jackson) the wideboy Time Lord with a London accent following ten years in Brixton prison I like. It's fun to see a Time Lord who isn't an out and out villain, just a little dodgy.

Tom's a tad off the beat in this to. Like he's performing in a slightly different story to the rest of the cast. Mary Tamm looks lovely but you can see why she wanted to leave as Romana doesn't get a great deal to do. It's a bit of a waste of talent.

However, I reserve the worst of my ire for poor old Ian Saynor's Marek who is supposed to be a surgeon but spends most of the story wondering around like a lost puppy but with less intelligence. It's not the actor's fault really, it's the badly written nature of the part. Lalla Ward does slightly better as Princess Astra (aka the Sixth Segment), especially in the final couple of episodes but that's because she's given more to do than Ian Saynor. Marek's not even two-dimensional but Astra is.

I'm being a bit harsh on this perhaps but mainly because it is such a poor end to a season that started off well. I can see this one gathering dust on the shelves for some time to come.

Power of the Kroll

The Kroll - It's Big

I'm not going to pussyfoot around here. This is pretty rubbish stuff, especially for a Robert Holmes script. It's definitely the dud of the Key to Time Season so far.

There are some good bits: the scenes in the Suffolk swamps look good; Tom Baker and Mary Tamm put in good, solid performances and it has both Philip Madoc and John Abineri in it but whilst Abineri does the best with what he's given - especially as he's painted green! - Madoc's heart just doesn't seem to be in it. He's not even the main villain, which is such a waste of his talents. Instead, that part is played by Neil McCarthy, who does a competent enough job.

I think the actors playing the crew of the methane engineering plant - yes, it's that exciting a location - are hamstrung by being asked to deliver chunks of explanation whilst conveying oodles of seriousness. What this means is there are far too many scenes of good actors shouting at each other, standing with their hands on hips and staring meaningfully at computer screens. It's a waste of all their talents really.

I should note that we get to see John Leeson - the voice of K9 - in the flesh as Dugeen (the liberal wishy-washy one of the methane engineers). He gets a nice death scene, shot by Neil McCarthy's Thawn and dying with a look of shock, surprise, and disappointment on his face.

Thawn's a nasty piece of work. He's in cahoots with arms smuggler Rohm-Dutt (Glyn Owen) to set up the Swampies so he can wipe them out. He doesn't see the poor, green Swampies as 'civilized' and wants them out of the way so that they can get on with exploiting the resources available to him. But unfortunately he never quite gets above the level of boring minor psychopath.

The Kroll itself is a 140ft tall pseudo-Octopus. It's a brave challenge for late 70's Doctor Who and it doesn't quite work. Partly because of the poor split-screen work when it is required to appear with others and partly because tentacles don't work in Doctor Who. (One day I'll write extensively on this but see Spearhead from Space for another dodgy example).

The Swampies also illustrate another Doctor Who flaw. The use of nice BBC actors to portray the religious rites of 'primitives'. A gathering of Equity types painted green waving spears does not a convincing scene make I'm afraid. John Abineri plays the leader of the Swampies and does a sterling job considering how ridiculous he is made to look. There is an innate gravity and dignity to Abineri, which shines through even under a coating of green paint.

Basically, it is a dull runaround, flatly directed and featuring too many good actors given too little to do. There's a political story - about racism and colonialism - in here struggling to get out and as The Sun Makers shows when Robert Holmes gets satirical he's sharp and funny. Maybe the problem is just that Kroll is too bloody serious, which makes it worthy but boring.

It is Robert Holmes's only real Doctor Who dud (although The Space Pirates isn't great either) it brings the momentum of the Key to Time season to a shuddering halt just before the six-part climax: The Armageddon Factor.

The Androids of Tara

That was a wonderfully entertaining piece of Doctor Who fluff, although I believe the correct term is 'romp'. A highly enjoyable Doctor Who 'homage' to The Prisoner of Zenda by Anthony Hope with android doubles - as well as a Time Lord one.

It isn't the Doctor who has a double on Tara. It is Romana who is the spitting image of the Princess Strella, which might not have mattered too much if it was not for the fact that she falls into the hands of the magnificently evil Count Grendel of Gracht (Peter Jeffrey) and becomes part of his nefarious plan to steal the Kingdom from Prince Reynart, the rightful heir.

Count Grendel has already kidnapped the real Princess Strella and is holding her prisoner in the dungeon of his quite beautiful castle. His original plan, assisted by his peasant engineer and apparent lover Lamia (Lois Baxter), was to have an android copy of the Princess kill the Prince on his coronation. This the Doctor foils and so the Count comes up with an alternative plan involving Romana, the Prince, and a wedding. Followed by a funeral (of the poor Prince), another marriage (the Count to Romana/Strella) and a final tragic accident (to Romana/Strella) all of which machinations would make Grendel King. It sounds more complicated than it actually seems when you write it down.

The Doctor, of course, gets involved, stops the Count's plans and rescues everyone. Hurrah! Unusually the Count escapes, in a lovely moment on top of the battlements, running off to fight another day we can assume.

This script - by David Fisher - is quite lovely, even if the plot is basically that of The Prisoner of Zenda. It zips along with intelligence, charm, and wit.

It's also quite light on special effects, which makes a refreshing change. It's location helps create the right vibe for the story. It is filmed in and around the quite beautiful Leeds Castle (which is actually in Kent but let's not dwell on that) and makes the story feel a bit more vivid.

Alas there is a small blip. The Taran Wood Beast is a bit rubbish but as the poor furry thing only appears for about two minutes in Episode One I can certainly forgive its slightly forlorn appearance.

The best thing about this story though is Peter Jeffrey who plays Count Grendel with sophisticated & underplayed menace. His threats, although clearly real, are made with Roger Delgadoesque's coolness. He doesn't do much shouting and seems to be having a wonderful time, without ever charging over the edge into ham. This was Peter Jeffrey's second Doctor Who appearance, of course. He had been in The Macra Terror with Patrick Troughton.

Peter Jeffrey - Magnificently Evil

Talking of returns it is also nice to see Cyril Shapps again in his fourth Doctor Who story as the slightly ineffectual Archimandrite. Unusually for a Shapps appearance, his character doesn't get killed off, which is nice.

I should also give Lois Baxter a nod for her performance as Lamia. Lamia might be an android engineer but on Tara, that makes her a peasant. This means that although she and the Count are lovers (or at least that's the obvious hint) she will never be his wife. There a depth to Lamia that makes her death in episode three appear a little cruel. In fact I'd go as far as to say the Grendel - Lamia relationship is one of the series sadder sub-sub-sub plots. It's barely in the text but it is there in the performances.

The stories good guys: Prince Reynart (Neville Jason); Zadak (Simon Lack) and Farrah (Paul Lavers) get less to do, as is the fate of the good guys. Although they are all perfect for their parts, especially Neville Jason who has the looks of a 30's movie star and is therefore perfect in what is the Douglas Fairbanks Jr role and Paul Lavers gets some nice business with Tom Baker in the early episodes (which includes cutting a chunk off of the Holy Scarf).

Tom Baker is good in this to. His eccentricities kept reined in but clearly having a ball. His long swordfight with Peter Jeffrey in the final episode is a nice nod to the Hollywood swashbucklers of yore.

Mary Tamm gets to play four parts: Strella, Romana and the android Strella/Romana. This would have been fun I suspect but I think the director missed a beat for whilst Tamm's performance as the androids are nicely different to her normal Romana performances, Strella and Romana are too alike. The voices are the same and so Strella is basically locked in a cell doing needlepoint (or whatever) so doesn't really get too much to do.

It's a tiny bit of a waste really. But this is just a quibble. This is a fun story to watch. 

The Stones of Blood

It's Behind You!

The Doctor has a surprise for Romana, the third segment is on Earth. As Romana points everyone knows that the Earth is the Doctor's favorite planet but before the TARDIS materializes the White Guardian's voice reminds the Doctor to beware of the Black Guardian. Getting the third segment of the Key to Time might prove more difficult than it appeared at first sight.

There's a nicely British horror feel to the first episode: Druidic sacrifices, glowing stones, and thumping heartbeats, eccentric ladies, a smooth Lord of the Manor & crows. Lots of crows. I like the cliffhanger to - or cliff fall. It's almost literal without being a dumb as the similar 'literal' cliffhanger in Dragonfire, but I'm getting ahead of myself again.

The first episode also introduces us to the main characters: the eccentric Professor Rumford (Beatrix Lehmann); her assistant Vivien Fay (Susan Engel) and the leader of the Druids, Mr. De Vries (Nicholas McArdle). De Vries, it seems is the villain of the piece and when he clunks the Doctor about the head towards the end of that first episode it seems there is trouble afoot.

But as we discover De Vries is just a servant to the true villain, the Cailleach...or as she will eventually turn out to be Cessiar of Diplos, a murderer and escaped prisoner from a spaceship hovering in hyperspace above the Nine Travellers. Cessair has control of the Ogri, which are silicon-based lifeforms dependent on blood to survive aka bloody great big stones.

When de Vries fails to sacrifice the Doctor, being driven off by Professor Rumford and her bicycle it is an Ogri that turns up at the Hall and kills both De Vries and Martha (Elaine Ives-Cameron). It almost does for the Doctor to but K9 drives it off, at some cost to himself.

Beatrix Lehmann is pitch-perfect casting as Rumford. One of those eccentric older ladies that British fiction is filled with but sharp, brave & with a nice throw away academic bitchiness. It's an excellent performance and for once Tom Baker gets out eccentriced by a fellow actor and is - in the scenes with Lehmann - a little calmer than he is elsewhere

I should also flag up the nice work done between Mary Tamm and Tom Baker in episode two when Romana is rescued from the cliff by the Doctor who she thought had pushed her off the cliff in the first place. Mary Tamm's reactions seem spot on to me and so are Tom's responses, especially when back at the TARDIS he looks hurt when Romana is about to say 'you' pushed me off the cliff.

Praise should also be given to Susan Engel whose performance as Vivien Fey makes the portrait twist in episode three a genuine surprise. She goes from sausage sandwich-making lady of Middle England to silver painted alien villainess without being unconvincing in either role. There are hints in the first two episodes - pointed looks, etc - that there's something amiss but it is - or would have been if I hadn't seen this story at least five times - a revelation when she turns out to be the Calliach/Cessair.

There are some lovely moments throughout the story though: De Vries knowing the Doctor's name before he arrives; the crows sitting ominously on the TARDIS roof when Romana comes back from getting K9 back up and running; the scene where the two campers are killed by the Ogri and Professor Rumford's suggestion that she and the Doctor captures an Ogri in the name of science and the whole trial sequence in the final episode when the Doctor tries every legal trick in the book to save his own life and reveal to the Megara - who are bio-mechanical justice machines that look like sparklers and act like Judge Dread - what Vivien Fay really is.

The first two episodes are set on present day Earth & the only 'special effects' are the Ogri. We should be thankful that they aren't actors dressed up waddling across the fields in unconvincing style. Instead they're fibre glass (I assume) glowy props. They're more convincing when looming about throbbing and pulsing than when zipping along the ground. However they do look a little lightweight sometimes but lack of weight is often a problem for me with CGI to so it doesn't cause too much pain for the viewer. Perhaps this is also helped by the fact that this story is one I vividly remember terrifying me as a child. The Ogri haunted my nightmares for a while, which makes me fond of the buggers regardless of how impressive they look now.

Hyperspace is less convincing, although the ship itself looks OK, even if it is obviously a model. The interior is the classic brightly lit white corridor model beloved of Doctor Who throughout its history. It might have disappointed me if it wasn't.

This is the strongest of the three Key to Time stories so far. It's simple, neat and charming with the bonus of a memorable guest performance from Beatrix Lehmann that has to stand as one of the series best. I'd almost be willing to have seen an entire 'Professor Rumford Investigates...' spin-off.

A little gem.

The Pirate Planet

The Captain: He Shouts...A Lot

The Doctor and Romana head to Calufrax to pick up the second segment of The Key To Time but after a bumpy landing, they appear to have arrived on a totally different world even though it exists in the same place and time as Calufrax. This hunt for The Key to Time isn't going to be easy, is it?

The Pirate Planet was written by Douglas Adams, whose work I adore. It bears some of the hallmarks of his other work, even featuring a couple of lines of his that crop up in similarish form elsewhere. This isn't a criticism. If a line is good then use it as often as possible I say.

It's also filled with scientific bafflegab. Now whether the science stands up to analysis I'm unqualified to say but the Doctor's final episode explanation of what he is about to do to solve a rather large gravitational problem is a masterpiece of speedily delivered, scientific-sounding stuff that might be nonsense. It sounds good though, which is half the battle and Tom Baker makes it sound 'right'.

There's a lot going on in this script: a planet that materializes and dematerializes; telepaths dressed like Hara Krishna wannabees - the Mentiads; time dams; a not quite dead Queen; a half-mechanical, shouty Captain with his robotic parrot (Polyphase Avatron); streets paved with gemstones; flying cars; a people unwilling to ask questions out of fear and a lot of very stupid guards who can't shoot straight. So it can seem a little overwhelming keeping up with everything.

It just about holds together, even if it frays a little at the edges. The Doctor is at his wittiest and sharpest in this story, racing ahead of everyone - including Romana - to realize what's going on and how to stop it. This is one of those stories when the Doctor really does run intellectual rings around his opponents. It also allows Tom Baker to let the Doctor's righteous indignation out for a little run around for the first time in ages and Tom does appear to be having a lot of fun.

Mary Tamm gets some nice lines to but after Romana has been quite to the forefront of the action in the first episode and a bit she gets less proactive as the story goes on, which is a shame. There's a possibility on the basis of this that Romana might end up suffering from Liz Shaw Syndrome (aka Susan Syndrome). We shall see.

Bruce Purchase does a great job as the shouty Captain. In the hands of a lesser actor the shoutiness would have probably collapsed into something hamtastic but Purchase keeps on the right side of the line. It reminded me of Brian Blessed when he was more than just a beard and a shout. The Captain gets a great line in curses too. I should have written them down for those moments when the use of a proper swearword is inappropriate.

Purchase is ably supported by Andrew Robertson who gives a lovely performance as Mr. Fibuli, the Captain's obsequious right-hand man.

The other guest parts are a little bland and there's not much for them to get their teeth into, with the exception of Rosalind Lloyd as The Nurse who starts off as a background figure but gradually emerges into the foreground as the story rolls along.

The poor chaps that get to play the Mentiads don't get to do much more than stand around looking serious and pale.

Doctor and The Mentiads

The truth is there's too much going on in the story for every character in it to get something decent to do. It's certainly fun. It's intelligent and witty but just a little too busy.

It's not often I say this but The Pirate Planet is the sort of story that could have benefited from two more episodes to give all the characters and ideas room to breathe, even if the basic plot might be stretched to breaking point.

The Ribos Operation

Are You Looking At My Hat?

We begin The Key to Time season with The Ribos Operation. The Doctor is alone, except for K9 Mark II, and contemplating a holiday. Unfortunately, the White Guardian (Cyril Luckham) has other ideas.

The concept of the Guardians is a new one. They are beings superior to Time Lords that seem to sit outside the Universe watching. There is no real attempt to explain what or who they are except that it is obvious that they are pretty powerful. Tom Baker emphasizes this not by showing obvious fear but by his scenes with the White Guardian like a naughty schoolboy. All yes sir, no sir and three bags full sir.

Being a script by Robert Holmes it has double acts - The Doctor and Romana; Garron and Unstoffe, and Graff Vynda-K and Sholakh plus a decent level of wit, rather than flat out comedy. The performances rise to the material to.

Ian Cuthbertson's Garron, con-man and blagger, is played to perfection with a smarmy pomposity and pride. His relationship with the younger, less cynical Unstoffe (Nigel Plaskitt) is one of teacher and student with Garron keen to show Unstoffe the perils of honesty in a tough universe. Garron is from Earth - Hackney Wick to be precise - but the Earth he comes from almost seems to be the Earth of the present day. There's some amusement at his - and Unstoffe's - Somerset accents with the Doctor's line about 'perhaps he's a cricket scout...' being a favorite of mine.

The Graff Vynda-K (Paul Seed) is a borderline psychotic warrior prince with an over-blown ego and a tendency to shoutiness. His relationship with Sholakh (Robert Keegan), who is the Graff's long term right-hand man is deeper than the difference in rank might indicate. In fact when Sholakh is dies you might feel their relationship is more than platonic. It certainly pushes the Graff right over the edge, driving him to remember battles past and he goes off to his shouty death calling for Sholakh. It made me think of the relationship is between Achilles and Petroclus, although perhaps I'm reading too much into it.

On the subject of shoutiness this story also features another Prentis Hancock performance. He's not the world's greatest actor Prentis but is reliably angry and shouty. I mention it as in passing as I'm developing a bizarre fondness for his occasional appearances, although (sadly) I think this is his last.

The other performance worth noting is Timothy Bateson's as Binro The Heretic. Quite rightly people have commented on the scene between him and Unstoffe where Binro explains his theory about the lights in the sky being other suns, not ice crystals. It's almost totally irrelevant to the story but it is a lovely little two-hander, played with real conviction. It is therefore one of the more genuinely moving scenes in Doctor Who. It's a master class in showing how to draw emotion from something and someone without laying it on with a trowel.

This is also Mary Tamm's first story as Romana, who has been foisted upon the Doctor by the White Guardian. The Doctor is not impressed and neither, to be honest, is Romana. Romana is played as all academic smarts and ego versus the Doctor's more practical experience (and ego). It's nicely done, especially in the early TARDIS scenes and right at the end.

I suspect the long shot of Mary Tamm that introduces her, which runs from feet to head, is the nearest we've ever seen to a televised letch on Doctor Who though.


So as the first story of a season with one objective it does an excellent job.

Romana is in and nicely-established; the Key to Time concept is explained (if not in great detail) and we are set for the rest of the season.

It's also obvious that we are continuing the tendency towards more humor and  'silliness' that began with Graham Williams's appointment as Producer. The script is filled with wit and there is some nice 'stuff' at the beginning of episode three between the Doctor and Garron in front of the Graff's firing squad, which I enjoyed but might have aggravated a few people who like their Doctor to be pretty serious.

There's definitely a divide between Doctor Who fans who like comedy and those who don't. For example, Donald Cotton is one of the series best Doctor Who writers in my opinion (up there with Robert Holmes and Douglas Adams) but his Hartnell stories used to be looked down upon somewhat for their high comedy level.

O and some point I must write something about the Doctor Who tradition of hiding in plain sight. It's a glorious part of the series history, often overlooked and Episode One of The Ribos Operation features a superb example.

Watch it and see.

The Invasion of Time

I have said before that there is no such thing as a truly perfect Doctor Who story. Conversely, there is not really a story without something praiseworthy, whether it be a performance, a scene here or there or even just a moment of glory.

The Invasion of Time is one of those bad stories. There is some excellent stuff: Tom Baker's performance in the first three episodes when we are not quite sure what he is up to; Louise Jameson is great; John Arnatt does a fine, dry job as Borusa and Milton Jones as the oily creep Castellan Kelner and the cliffhanger at the end of the fourth episode is a good twist but...and this is a large BUT...fundamentally this story is absolute rubbish.

It's not just the pathetic Vardans who go from Northern Irish wobbly tinfoil floaty things to disappointingly average humanoids in silly hats and boring uniforms; it isn't the long-haired, tribe of the week Time Lord dropouts who live in a giant sandpit outside the Citadel; it isn't the dumb ineptness of the Castellan's soldiers; it isn't Tom's OTT silliness or talking to the camera; it isn't the silly run around inside of TARDIS that fills up a large chunk of the final episode and it isn't even the cockney panda Sontaran Stor (Derek Deadman) who seems to be able to talk only in a sinister whisper whilst failing completely to be anything but absolutely rubbish at conquering Gallifrey. It is all of these things and more.

What makes this story truly awful in my book is Leela's departure. She's staying on Gallifrey because she's apparently fallen in love with Andred (Chris Tranchell). Now whilst I'll admit Andred is the nearest thing to a warrior that Gallifrey might have, he is still dripping wet. Also how - by Rassilon's Rod - do they have time to fall in love when they barely have a moment together that doesn't involve dashing down corridors. It's a shocker of a departure for such an excellent companion and actress. In fact I'd say it is the worst companion departure in the series. Yes, even worse than Dodo's disappearing act. Leela isn't the sort of character to go quietly off with the first bloke who flutters his eyelids at her. And yes I know I'm more annoyed about this than I should be but however you cut it this is a poor send-off. I judge it unfavourably.

I judge this story as a whole unfavorably. It's almost the only story I've watched in my odyssey so far that I've struggled to motivate myself to watch each episode. It's been like the Doctor Who equivalent of dentistry: necessary but unpleasant.

Are there worse stories in Doctor Who history? Possibly. But there isn't a lot and at six episodes in length, it was a more drawn out disaster than any other Tom Baker story so far. Yes, worse than The Invisible Enemy. It's the combination of pathetic villains and in Deadman's case woefully acting with the crapness of Leela's departure as the rubbish cherry on an unpleasant cake.

And that's all I have to say about that.