The Next Life

Sometimes you just take an irrational dislike to a person you've never met. Something about their tone of voice when you overhear them talking, the way the block you in the street or just their general existence. That's how I feel about The Next Life.

It might be that telescoping the whole Neverland to The Next Life story arc into ten days makes it unfair for me to judge this story as harshly as I do. I really, really disliked this. Really. To the point of wanting it to be finished as fast as possible. To the point of which listening to all six episodes felt like duty, not pleasure.

That isn't the fault of any of the actors involved all of whom do a sterling job. Paul Darrow's stint as Guidance is wonderfully underplayed (not something you often say when it comes to Paul Darrow in Doctor Who) and Daphne Ashbrook's Perfection isn't far off being perfection (I will stop here to acknowledge with a polite round of applause the excellent Grace joke in Part 2. Well done whoever came up with that). There's also a nice sinister turn from Stephene Cornicard as Keep.

The regulars all do good stuff too, even if Charley does have occasional Head Girl moments. Conrad Westmaas is asked to do a lot with C'rizz without being allowed (I assume) to go too over-emotional. And McGann, who is consistently brilliant, is brilliant. Especially right towards the end when he's giving C'rizz and Charley a telling off.

It is a compliment to Big Finish that one of the main reasons I hate this story is that I have grown to like Charley and C'rizz so much that another story which involves them being mentally tortured, convinced of the Doctor's untrustworthiness and betrayed by their memories and experiences seems like sadism on behalf of Big Finish. By this point, it is a Big Finish cliche. To the extent that Charley and K'rizz effectively say so.

It is too soon to jump into another story so depressingly epic. I am told that the Divergent Universe arc was rushed to an end in this story because the series was coming back to television, which may or may not be true. Whatever it is we've not had time to catch our breath from Caerdroia before wham, bam we're in a massive existential crisis trying to tie up all the loose ends.

That's why I didn't like it.

It also has a dramatically silly way out for our heroes in the final part, which stretches credulity to breaking point. At least my credulity and when it comes to Doctor Who I'm pretty forgiving of plot holes and deus ex machina. But this one is a doozy.

So we end up back in the normal universe and the final three minutes end up with a lovely little twist leading into the next adventure.

When I re-read what I've written above I realise that perhaps I am just being a little harsh but that doesn't stop me from not liking this story. Irrational it may be. Irrational it is. But no, this ones not for me.

Caerdroia

That was fun and by the end, The Doctor is The Doctor again. Or so it seems.

The Doctor's been getting used to his new universe and finally seems to have got himself back together enough to trick the Kro'ka into coughing up some of his secrets and he's on the trail of his long-missing TARDIS.

Part One basically takes place inside the Interzone and when the Doctor pops through into the next place where he feels the TARDIS might be it turns out that there are three of him. A multi-Doctor story with a difference. The same Doctor, but with three avatars. There's a day-dreamy excitable one (that Charley nicknames Tigger), a brusque and unpleasant one (Eeyore) and a relatively normal one.

Part Two seems the Three Doctors split up and explore their surroundings, which appear rather strange. Eeyore goes with Charley and finds themselves climbing about in the interior of a cuckoo-clock with no hands; Tigger and C'rizz go for a walk in the park and encounter some bizarre beasties, one of which is from C'rizz's homeworld and rather unpleasant; normal Doctor goes to find someone in authority but finds himself dealing with a Kafkaesque bureaucracy (slightly reminiscent of Mr. Popplewick in the final episodes of Trial of a Time Lord). All three want to leave, all three go through separate doors and find themselves back together. In the same place. A labyrinth complete with roaring monster. (Actually one of Doctor Who's less impressive cliffhangers that but interesting).

Part Three finds everyone escaping the monster - which is actually a Minotaur (or THE Minotaur) - and aided by a man called Wayland. Wayland tells a tale explaining the Minotaur and convinces the Doctor(s) to help him break into the central chamber of the labyrinth, which is protected by a mathematical lock. Tigger goes off with C'rizz and Charley to explore the park, the remaining two Doctors realize that someone is trying to get them to break into their own TARDIS. It's Kro'ka. Refusing to help him doesn't put the Kro'ka off his stride much. He has captured Tigger Doctor, who he feels is the weak link. The easiest Doctor to break.

Except he might not be. Masterful at talking piffle this Doctor realizes that Kro'ka's been rather devious and that - should his masters find out - there will be trouble for the Kro'ka. Trouble with a capital T. Trouble involving unpleasantness of a possibly fatal kind. For the Kro'ka.

However, as Part Four unravels the Doctor(s) get on top of the situation, despite a near run thing with a brain drain and some rather loud bells. Kro'ka gets tortured by the Eeyore Doctor (who must have similarities with the Valeyard) and coughs up a few secrets. This scene is McGann at his best. He is rather terrifying as the darker Doctor, especially when he reminds The Kro'ka that the other two Doctors normally keep him under control.

C'rizz and Charley trying to locate the Doctor(s) find themselves exploring Caerdroia's streets and corridors, which are very Castrovalva. (There are certain similarities between the two stories including their titles but that might just be me putting two and two together to make two thousand, six hundred and fourteen).

Eventually, everyone gets together and we find ourselves back inside the TARDIS. The Three Doctors become one and everyone is happy. But the enemy has fled, which annoys the Doctor like hell. However, at least he's now free to explore this new universe. There's no time here of course but all of space is his to explore. He's happy again.

The Kro'ka however is on the receiving end of a rather unpleasant exit interview with his employer.

I have left a few bits out of the above description, which is a bit of a change to the usual format. I don't wish to spoil things entirely.

It's good though and it ties together some of the Divergent Universe threads. My complaint about another mind invading alien is revealed for the arc plot point it is. They're trying to get inside the Doctor's mind because they want the secrets of the TARDIS. Bits and pieces are pulled together on Caerdroia but the whole is not exhibited.

McGann gets to show off as he does the Three Doctors stuff and it is nice to have a Doctor back who is a little less...bereft. This is the victorious, sharp-thinking, sharp-witted, waffling enthusiast of old.

India Fisher and Conrad Westmaas do some fine stuff to. Charley is funny and witty in this story and C'rizz develops a line in dry wit. He's also suitably flummoxed on his first entrance into the TARDIS, which is nice.

O and applause for Stephen Perring as The Kro'ka. Another serpentine voiced villain but with a good line in incompetence. It's as if G4S had been hired to provide a front line villain service by those who employed him.

This is good. Well-worth a listen.

The Last

Interestingly - in the loosest sense of the word naturally - I listened to the end of Part 2 and all of Part 3 of this story whilst at The Oval watching England play South Africa, which was an odd experience. In front of me, white-clad men whacked a little red ball around rather monotonously in the sunshine whilst my ears were filled with the howling winds of a war-ravaged and dying planet. Indeed somewhere about three-quarters of the way through Part 3, Tim Bresnan took England's only wicket of the day.

Part 4 I listened to on a Thameside bench with a view of the Palace of Westminster and the London Eye.

Altogether a rather strange way to enjoy Big Finish audio but fun.

But enough of this, what about The Last? The Doctor, C'rizz and Charley arrive in the inhospitable wastes of a planet falling apart. There has been a terrible war. A war to end all wars. This one has been successful. It killed almost everyone. It's an interesting tactic.

However in a bunker a small number of survivors, including Excelsior (Carolyn Jones) the leader of Bortresoye and the savior of her people as well as Minister Voss (Ian Brooker) and Minister Tralfinial (Robert Hines).  Excelsior it becomes rapidly clear is as mad as a hatter. So loony tunes she makes The Master look sane. She is being kept from the knowledge that there is no one left. There are no survivors. Everyone is dead and - as we gradually discover - everyone must die.

The Doctor, Charley, and C'rizz get split up following a collapse in the building that they are sheltering in. Charley is paralyzed from the neck downwards. Something she seems to take with astonishing good grace, even if she does hold out no hope of recovery. C'rizz meanwhile encounters Requiem (Tom Eastwood), a survivor. Perhaps the only survivor.

It's all downhill from there for the TARDIS crew. Death, more death and then - just when you least expect it - more death. The Last does have a certain quality of bleakness about it but then what can one expect of a story involving the deaths of millions in a fiery holocaust.

There's also a story there about the Gaia principle taken to the extreme.

I think this is a pretty average Big Finish story, erring towards the less than good. The acting is fine but I think it is too didactic - if that word means what I think it means Vicini. It feels like taking a hammer to a very crumbly nut. Yes, war is bad. Boo-hoo. We know that. We've always known that. The Daleks back in 1963 showed us that in a bizarrely similar post-holocaust environment. I know this doesn't get said very often but this story makes Terry Nation look subtle.

It's still entertaining enough. The acting is pretty good, especially Voss, Tralfinial and Excelsior.

The ending both makes sense - based on what has gone before - but also feels like a drastic cope out. A happy solution to an unhappy tale. Or is it?

Because again we have questions to be answered. What's The Kro'ka up to? Who is behind these mysterious zones and why does he/she/it seem intent on putting the Doctor through the wringer? Will everyone live happily ever after? Hints have been dropped. Seeds have been sown.

Somewhere, sometime Big Finish will tell us everything and I hope it is all worth it.

Faith Stealer

So after yesterday, I managed to come down with some kind of bug in the early hours of the morning. This meant a lack of sleep, a miserable morning and a surfeit of grumpiness and self-pity. Most of Faith Stealer was listened to whilst lying in bed feeling sorry for myself.

None of that you need to know really but perhaps a little context helps.

Anyway, this was quite a pleasant experience. It was a little lighter than more recent stories and had some genuinely funny moments. The best of which was probably all the interaction with the Church of Serendipity and Jebdal's Monty Pythonesque 'following leaders' moment.

I would quibble a little with another villain that gets inside people's minds. There's so many of them in this run of Big Finish stories that it is beginning to feel like Jon Pertwee Season 8 when the villain constantly turned out to be The Master until his arrival was almost routine. Oh, so this one is a bivarity anomaly quartz but it mainly works by getting inside people's minds. Hmmm. Can't we just have something big, hairy and heavily armed for a change? Something that does bad things through physical violence and painful death?

Alas, not.

The story is set in Multihaven, which is a kind of car boot sale for faith. Here different religions mingle. No one faith is allowed to dominate. Except onto the scene has arrived Laan Carder (Christian Rodska) and the 23rd Church of Lucidity. You can clearly see Laan Carder's up to no good because he and his coverts get an Invisible Enemy style catchphrase: "So much lucidity" but The Bordinan (Tessa Shaw) who oversees Multihaven thinks it is just another passing religious fad. She's seen it all before.

Into this stumbles the Doctor, Charley, and C'rizz in traditional Doctor Who stylee. C'rizz is unable to shake off the L'Da's death and keeps dreaming of the moment it happened and The Kro'ka suggests Multihaven might sort him out. A suggestion that seems a little over-helpful from a being we've come to be suspicious of.

C'rizz gets zonked by the Lucidian's. Then he gets mind probed by Director Garfolt (Neil Bett) who is the latest in a long line of scientific types that would have been better off listening to the Doctor's instructions.

It's nice to have a story where the TARDIS crew's existential crises are kept to a minimum for a change. There's almost no bickering or emotional spasms. It feels like a normal Doctor Who story, which is something of a relief.

The regulars do their usual excellent job and McGann's Doctor is starting to sound more Doctor-ish again after his recent adjustment to a new Universe. He's still looking for the TARDIS, which disappeared all the way back in Scherzo (perhaps I should have mentioned that...[cough])

There's some good acting from the supporting cast, especially Rodska as Laan Carder. I also liked Helen Kirkpatrick's Jebdal, who does a fine line in faith and doubt. It's always nice when a character realizes they've been had and tries to do something about it.

This was the ideal story for my state of mind today: not too deep, not too dark plus a dash of wit and humor.

The Twilight Kingdom

Here's a thing. Since the 9th of July, I have listened to 35 episodes of the Eighth Doctor's adventures via Big Finish. It has (mostly) been quite a pleasant and easy task. However, today was different. I am tired and it has been a bad week at work (and elsewhere). I was not - am not - in the most receptive of minds, which reflects somewhat in the difficulties I had getting into this story and I'm not sure whether I can be said to have given it the fairest of hearings.

In the end, it felt like a bit of a drag listening to it.

The question is whether that is more to do with the baggage I'm pulling along or the story itself. It is a moot point. (A phrase I have used far too often over the last couple of days. I must find another).

The Twilight Kingdom certainly is not as good a story as The Natural History of Fear, although the basic plot is fine. Perhaps I'm just tired of each Big Finish story ending with more questions. Can't we just have a bit of fun? Something without baggage?

At its most basic this is a 'some corners of the universe have bred the most terrible things they must be fought' type story. There's something up to no good and the Doctor must stop it. There will be a price to be paid but this time it won't be the Doctor, Charley or C'rizz that has to pay it. Someone else will.

This story is perhaps also about coping: with grief, with loneliness or with anger and a little about growing up.

Actually, whenever I write something like that I have a picture of the writer - in this case, Will Shindler - reading this and asking what the hell I'm talking about. It's the same feeling I get when I think a story has been influenced by some other book or film or Doctor Who story. I expect the writer to come up to me and say, "You know I've never read/seen/whatever that." Perhaps I'm searching too hard for depth and meaning in something that is essentially entertainment.

Anyway, it isn't a bad little story really. It certainly elevated by an excellent performance from Michael Keating as Major Koth. Michael Keating is best known for playing Vila from Blake's 7. He was something of a hero of mine was Vila so I might have been inclined to be nice to Michael Keating anyway but in truth, I don't need to be. He's unrecognizable. If I hadn't checked the credits I don't think I'd have recognized him at all. Major Koth is an interesting character and Keating gives him a convincing and moving life.

This is another story where it would be hard-pressed to put your finger on a genuine villain. There's nastiness - and rather gory nastiness via the medium of sound effects and my own (obviously rather sick) imagination. People and things are misguided or broken but not stereotypically villainous, which even the Doctor can see.

That's pretty much all I have to say about The Twilight Kingdom. McGann, Fisher, and Westmaas are up to their high standards, although C'rizz still lacks a little depth I think even if bits and pieces of his character are leaking out over time. The main cast's excellence is becoming standard really, almost unworthy of comment.

So forgive me if this is a rather odd review. This isn't a bad story but perhaps it was the wrong story at the wrong time for me.

The Natural History of Fear

Wow.

That was totally unexpected and exceptionally brilliant.

An attempt to do something really different with Doctor Who that takes advantage of Big Finish being an audio format. Something that sometimes gets forgotten. Games can be played with audio and played effectively.

The problem I have is how to review it without spoiling it because I think it pays coming to unspoiled.

Let's just say we are Light City, which is a City that is run efficiently. Where questions - to quote the Prisoner - are a burden for others; answers a prison for oneself and where everyone works happily for the company entertained by the ongoing adventures of a traveling hero called The Doctor and his friends Charley and C'rizz.

And with that, we begin.

This has touches of 1984 about it not so much in Light City's ambiance. That feels more like The Happiness Patrol or The Macra Terror or indeed The Prisoner with its jaunty DJ making announcements on a semi-regular basis throughout. No, where it has most in common with 1984 can be found in Orwell's line about 'he who controls the past, controls the future' (although not quite that, not quite), the love that one might feel for a dictator and thought crimes.

But even that informs rather than overwhelms the story. This isn't one of those Doctor Who does 1984 type homages so beloved of Classic Who this is something different and something better.

It's about individuality, about evolution and stagnation, its about love and memory, it is about truth and forgetting.

And you think you know what's happening and then almost at the end they pull off one of the great twists. A majestic piece of what the fuckery that made me want to applaud. Expectations built up over three episodes are simply ripped apart in front of your face.

So you have to applaud the writer Jim Mortimore for this. He also did the sound engineering, which means that the whole audio experience is down to him. We hear what the writer wants us to hear and it repays careful listening.

Of course, it wouldn't work if the cast weren't up to it, which they are. Paul McGann and India Fisher take the bulk of the material and do wonderful things with it. They seem to relish the script. Conrad Westmaas too is up to snuff, even if he gets less to do.

I am filled with superlatives, which can be quite uncomfortable. So I'm going to leave it there mainly because all I want to do is tell you that this is excellent, possibly the best Big Finish 8th Doctor story so far and that you really should do yourself a favor and listen to it.

Seriously. Find yourself a quiet place to sit, put this on whatever your musical listening thing of choice is, perhaps through headphones to truly appreciate it and take two hours-ish to visit Light City. You'll thank me for it.

The Creed of the Kromon

Phew. After the last few stories, it is nice to find myself listening to something that is pretty much a bog-standard Doctor Who adventure.

OK, it is set in an alt-universe and there's clearly something bigger and more mysterious going on that we're not going to find out about in short order but it is nice to be back in the vaguely ordinary. In Doctor Who terms.

This is written by Phillip Martin - who wrote Vengeance on Varos and Mindwarp. (He also wrote Gangsters btw, which I recommend heartily if you haven't seen it but I am distracted). Its main villains, the Kromon, have a certain similarity with the Mentors in there rather business-focused approach to the universe. Their 'Creed' is that of a large corporation with the Doctor at one point offered an office and a PA of his own as an inducement to help.

It is the comic aspects of this story that come as a bit of a relief after all the seriousness of Nevermind etc. The Kromon are termites of a sort - shades of the Zarbi but alas not THE Zarbi - but a lot of their scenes are black comedy. Only the scenes with Charley as they try to transform her (again hints of Martin's work in Vengeance on Varos) are particularly dark.

Indeed it is hard not to feel sorry for Charley who gets the nasty end of the stick here. The Doctor gets pushed around, shot at, drugged and lightly tortured but that's nothing but light relief for him. Charley, on the other hand, gets all of those things and hybridization on top, which is no way to treat a lady.

Actually now I come to think of it there is another character here who gets a rather bad time of it and that's C'rizz (Conrad Westmaas). We meet C'rizz early in the story fleeing from the Kromon. He is a Eutermesan, who are reptilian humanoids with chameleon tendencies enslaved by the Kromon. There are hints of mysteries about C'rizz too but this wouldn't be a Big Finish story if there weren't some hidden depths to a character. He is trying to rescue L'da, his partner. Alas, she's been hybridized and poor old C'rizz has to deal with the consequences, which aren't pleasant.

Conrad Westmaas breathes life into C'rizz who has one of those calming voices, even when he's fretting about whether to kill people or not. It's almost hypnotic. We'll hear more of C'rizz as he's joined the Doctor and Charley as they move on into the next zone.

There's also the matter of The Kro'ka (Stephen Perring) who is the rather pompous sounding sort of interzone passport control officer. The Kro'ka is up to something, which involves the Doctor and company but what that is we have yet to find out. In the fullness of time, I'm sure all will be revealed.

Not much else to say really. But it is nice to have a story that feels like a bit of light-hearted fun - the usual death & destruction included - for a change. However, there are questions to be answered: who is the mysterious corporation; what's The Kro'ka up to and what's it got to do with the Doctor?