Colony in Space

I said in my Claws of Axos blog that the biggest sin Doctor Who could commit IMHO was to be dull. Unfortunately, I then sat down to watch six episodes of Colony in Space. Less a Doctor Who adventure, more an Open University lecture of the perils of space colonization in the 25th century.

The story opens with three of the least impressive Time Lords in Doctor Who history telling us that The Master has stolen some of their files* and is off to do some bad things. As usual, they decide that The Doctor is the man to do their dirty work and so Pertwee gets to land on his first alien planet.

It is, of course, a quarry.

With green primitives and a bunch of dull colonists. We also discover quite rapidly that there are a bunch of semi-evil corporate mining types who have landed on the colony with a view to stealing its mineral deposits. To do this they have embarked on a plan to drive the colonists from the planet. This involves a big green lizard 'hologram' and a robot with claws. Yep. It's one of those plans. Most of the IMC chaps have no problem bumping off colonists if they get their bonuses. Fortunately, their mining engineer Caldwell, played by the ever effective Bernard Kay, has doubts. The Doctor helps the colony...zzzZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzz

Then the Master turns up pretending to be an adjudicator & his plan is revealed. Slowly. Very slowly.

This planet was once the centre of a great civilization that built a whacking great weapon of mass destruction. They tested it on what is now the Cra...ZzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZz...and I am sorry but I am struggling not to be terminally bored by the whole thing.

The Third Doctor gets to patronize an alien civilization that politely decides to destroy itself to prevent The Master getting his grubby little hands on the said weapon. Jo gets to be an idiot again - walking through an alarm beam she's just spent a minute crawling on the ground to avoid.

Ashe, the leader of the colony, played by John Ringham (who is much more fun when his Richard IIIing it as Tlotoxl in The Aztecs) also sacrifices himself. Neither sacrifice actually means much because no one seems to care very much. Even Ashes' daughter Mary - played by a very young, pre-Coronation Street Helen Worth - seems perky enough five minutes afterward. Cauldwell joins the colonists and everyone gets to live happily ever after.

The Doctor gets to be rude about the Brigadier's intelligence in the closing seconds: again. After Claws of Axos and this, the wonderfully high standards of Season 7 seem light-years away.

Reading this blog, having watched Colony in Space again - on 22nd November 2020 - I feel I am a little harsh. Yes, the story is overlong. I think there's an interesting four-part story in here that gets drowned in one too many gunfights. 

Yes, the Doctor is pretty patronising in this. He patronising the colonists, IMC, Jo, and the Brigadier. I do like the exchange between The Doctor and The Master in the final episode when The Master offers The Doctor a partnership. This feeds into my feeling that, at this point in their relationship, The Master is never particularly serious about killing The Doctor. Even when it looks like he is. I do not think he would have a problem killing anyone - and everyone - else, but The Doctor is his friend. Even now.

My biggest problem, and it is a surprising one considering that this story is written by Malcolm Hulke, is that whilst we are expected to side with Ashes colonists against the rapacious mining corporation, aka capitalism itself, we never get to see the Uxerians themselves as a civilisation to be saved or protected. They are either canon fodder, in their 'Primitive' form, or wise and self-sacrificing. Ashe and IMC both treat Uxerius as if it is 'Terra Nullius. The same way the colonists of Australia did thus allowing them to take land that was not theirs because effectively Aboriginal Australians did not exist. So, for Aboriginal Australians read Uxerians. The self-destruction at the end of the story conveniently prevents us from having to worry about these people again. It all seems colonially convenient. Plus The Doctor's attempts to save any of the Uxerians are pretty half-hearted, which seems a shame. 

So, this is less bad than I felt the last time but it is unlikely to be a favourite of mine at any point. 

*It's nice to see that Time Lord files are on paper and appear to fit nicely into bog-standard Earth filing cabinets. The Master has two such filing cabinets in his TARDIS, which the Doctor searches as if we're watching a 1950s thriller.