The Empress of Mars

 

This is a bog standard Doctor Who adventure lacking a little in subtlety. Written by Mark Gatiss it rushes by in the blink of an eye. 

We begin with a NASA probe discovering a message on Mars that shouldn’t be there: ‘God Save The Queen’. The Doctor, Bill, and Nardole set off for Mars, 1881, which is when the TARDIS thinks the message was put in place. 

It turns out that there is an Ice Warrior and a gaggle of British Red Coats there who are led by Colonel Godsacre (Anthony Calf) and Captain Catchlove (Ferdinand Kingsley). The men have been serving in South Africa where Godsacre found a crashed Martian ship with a single surviving Ice Warrior aboard who the British have called ‘Friday'. 

There is a thread about Imperialism and Colonialism running through this story in the most unsubtle of fashions. Catchlove is a ridiculous moustache twirling British imperialist. He is so two dimensional he might as well be cut out of cardboard. Kingsley plays that to the hilt. 

What’s interesting is that Colonel Godsacre is an altogether more three dimensional figure and Calf’s performance reflects that. It’s a clash of acting that reminds me a little of Brian Blessed’s clash with Patrick Ryecart in ‘Mindwarp’, although perhaps a bit less jarring. 

The rest of the Red Coats are, basically, Star Trek Red Shirts. Theirs is not to question why, theirs is but to do or die. There’s a couple of soldiers who get some lines and Vincey (Bayo Gbadamosi) gets to be the guy who shows us a picture of his waiting girlfriend thus marking him for death.  

Gatiss wrote ‘Victory of the Daleks’, which I have issues with because it treats World War Two with a degree of glibness that on first watch made me genuinely quite angry. This does the same with Victorian Imperial Britain and affirms that it is hard for Doctor Who to deal directly with the complexity of real history. 

For reasons Nardole goes back to the TARDIS and then the TARDIS has a hissy fit and sends him back to Earth where he has to get Missy to help him. Again the episode ends with a nice little coda played beautifully by both Capaldi and Gomez.

Bill’s beats in this story are a bit too similar to the previous three part story, but Pearl Mackie does excellent work with what she’s given to do. I really like Pearl Mackie's performance. She's one of my favourite companions.  

The Ice Warriors look great and I like the fact that their voices are more clearer. The comparison between Ice Warrior honour codes and the perceived honour codes of the British Army are interesting. And Colonel Godsacre’s arc is redemptive and interesting. It would be fascinating to find him in a future story older and battle weary. 

The Ice Warriors have overslept, which seems to be the common fate of many a Doctor Who monster, and must face a dead Mars, which Queen Iraxxa (Adele Lynch) eventually comes to terms with. 

I’ve always thought that the Ice Warriors, like the Draconians, were an interesting foe for the Doctor because they’re nuanced. They’re not implacable killers like the Daleks or The Cybermen. They can be reasoned with. I’d like to see more of them. 

So, it’s an OK story with one or two classic moments and a lovely little piece of fan service for fans of Classic Who tucked in at the end. But again Mark Gatiss dips into a historical period and skims off the cliches. There is, I think, potentially a much better and more complex story here that doesn't get told.

Extremis – The Pyramid at the End of the World – The Lie of the Land

This is an interesting three part story, which I think should have been cut down to two. 

There are, effectively, two set-up episodes before the wrap up episode. The first episode is The Android Invasion, but without an eye patch. Just The Pope, some Cardinals, a book that drives people to suicide, and some ‘Zombie Monks’. The ‘Zombie Monks’ are the villains of the piece. And we discover that they’ve built some epic holographic simulation of the Earth in order to work out how to invade. As I said it is The Android Invasion with a bigger budget.

The book, ‘Veritas’, explains the Holographic Simulation and the rebellion is suicide. Getting people out of the programme. It is pretty dark.

The Doctor is still blind. And he isn’t telling anyone. Theoretically because he doesn’t want his enemies to know but why he still can’t bring himself to tell Bill is beyond me. But then we wouldn’t need Bill to do something drastic at the end of The Pyramid at the End of the World because the Doctor’s blindness puts his life at risk. 

Pearl Mackie and Matt Lucas keep up their stonkingly excellent jobs throughout. Pearl Mackie in particular gets to do some solid work. The scene where she confronts the Doctor is really strong. 

Capaldi continues to be his excellent self. At this point he’s my favourite Doctor Who from the post-2005 era. He’s not quite Tom Baker, but he’s not far off. 

We don’t know much about the Zombie Monks. They’re just invaders. I like the fact that they need consent to invade. That someone with power must give pure consent. I’m not sure how pure any consent would be in a situation like that. You’re always going to be polluted by hope of eventually ridding yourself on the Zombie Monks. 

I like though that there’s a double thread of risk in The Pyramid at the End of the World. The Zombie Monks want us to consent to their invasion and they know we’ll have to be in a terrible place to do so. Everyone thinks it is World War Three, which is why the Pyramid has dropped in at a place where the three largest militaries in the world are having a stand-off. But actually somewhere else a man with a hangover is about to create a biological catastrophe that will end everything. 

It is by trying to solve that problem when blind that the Doctor forces Bill to give her consent. 

By this point several people have been dusted and it is clear that the Monks are up to no good. It is the Lie of the Land that shows us the aftermath of the invasion. 

The Monks have interfered with everyone’s memories. They have now always been here. Our historical memories have been interfered with. And The Doctor is working for the Monks. Broadcasting happy messages on their behalf like a Scottish Big Brother. Six months have passed since Bill gave her consent to the Monks and there are now statues to the Monks everywhere and Memory Police tracking down those who don’t believe the new history. 

This is where Missy comes in. Or at least comes in again. Extremis has flashbacks to the Doctor taking Missy from a potential death penalty to imprisonment. She’s going cold turkey on being evil. By the time we get to the final episode of three The Doctor is desperate and will need her help. But only after Bill and Nardole rescue him. 

It is a rescue with complications. In that Bill has to believe the Doctor has genuinely changed sides to the extent that she is angry enough to shoot him. This is apparently a test, but a psychologically damaging one I would imagine. I’m never sure that goading someone into shooting you is the wisest of ideas, but what do I know? 

A plan to break the Monks ‘fake history’ is made which puts first The Doctor’s life and then Bill’s at risk. But it works. Real history – in all its contested glory – is back. The Monks run away. The end. 

Except for a rather beautiful coda between the Doctor and Missy. Michelle Gomez is so good as Missy, especially in that final scene. 

Now I mostly enjoyed this but I have quibbles. At the end the Doctor shows that the exit of the Monks is being forgotten by people. They’ve been erased. But there are vehicles with Memory Police written on them, Memory Police uniforms, people who worked for and were paid by The Memory Police. People have been killed, including three senior officers in the Russian, American, and Chinese armies. People have been sent to camps and there’s a lot of chunky bases of broken statues across the world. I mean how does all that get explained away? 

And I have begun to pull at the threads of the story, which will end up making it more disappointing in the long run. 

I like the ideas in the story that play on the zeitgeist: the holographic simulation, the idea of ‘fake news’ and how history is written – this is the ‘history is written by the victors’ par excellence. There’s elements of 1984 here too: “He who controls the past, controls the future.” 

Not bad. But a tad too long and a tad too easily tied up at the end.

I'm Back! And I'm more powerful than ever before!! (Or not)

 

So, after a long break The Patient Centurion has returned. Let me explain.

A couple of years ago I pitched to Unbound a Doctor Who book based on this blog and we crowd-funded it - to the tune of c.£19k - but then as I was finishing off my edits Unbound went bust. So, no book and everyone who pledged money to this lost their money. This annoys me more than what happened to me. In the end I lost nothing, except a publishing opportunity. People who pledged lost money. Money that I thought was supposed to be ring-fenced for producing the book. But that's that. Unbound is unalive and I have been sitting around wondering what to do next.

Now, my friend Aya, suggested I go back to the blog and I think that might be a damn good idea. I'd only got as far as the Peter Capaldi story Oxygen when I stopped the blog, but also perhaps it might be the time to re-visit the whole Doctor Who journey whilst we wait to discover its fate. I did do a couple of episodes on YouTube but this might be a better place to return to Doctor Who.

I have, in recent months, really felt I'd lost my Doctor Who mojo. I don't know why. Part of it was I was tired of the 'stuff'. I have too many Doctor Who books that I was no longer getting joy from so I've started selling these on eBay, which you can find here - but I have never lost my love of watching Doctor Who. Or listening to it - yes, Big Finish I'm looking at you. Although it has been a while since I bought anything from Big Finish. Money doesn't grow on trees, especially when you're unemployed. Which I am. 

However that is all moot. The reason for posting this is that I am returning to the Doctor Who blogosphere (which isn't really a thing but sounds quite cool.) When I did the original blog I was posting a review every day - almost. Now, I'm not sure if I can keep that up. I have recently watched some of the New Who stories picking up from Oxygen, which I might post. 

But really I'm excited for a revisit to November 23rd 1963 and running all the way through to 31st May 2025 which ended with The Reality War. And a new hiatus whilst the BBC waits to see if it can afford to make any new Doctor Who. 

There is also the forthcoming The War Between the Land and the Sea, which is the UNIT/Sea Devils RTD crafted spin-off series, which might be worth covering here. I've also got both Torchwood and The Sarah Jane Adventures to potentially blog about. So, lots of exciting things to do. 

Now if you like the sound of this and would like to support me my Ko-Fi is here. I'm going to create a couple of levels where you'll get some additional material on a monthly basis, which I'll decided anon. But all contributions will be gratefully received.

If things go well I might set up a Discord so we can chat between posts and/or organise watchalongs if we're so minded. That's we as in all of us not the royal we btw. 

So, welcome back. It has been a while. You can also find me on Bluesky as @Lokster71.bluesky.social

Here's the the next journey.